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OUR VOICES MATTER

6/24/2019

by Joanne Huskey and Kimberly Weichel

These are truly extraordinary times. On the one hand we have extreme divisions in this country that look irreconcilable, and on the other, we are witnessing a global call to action, political involvement, and citizen activism not seen in decades. The Chinese term for “crisis” (weiji) combines “threat” and “opportunity” -- an apt description that the situation facing America represents an opportunity to demonstrate the power of citizen activism. There is a role for governments, but in a democracy, there is also an important role for citizens. Both of us have been advocates for citizen diplomacy in our life’s work and in our writing.

We both have seen first-hand how the power of citizen activism and diplomacy can change the world and make it a safer place. We have seen the power of other large scale citizen efforts - the civil rights movement, environmental movement, women’s movement, anti-war and human rights movements – which have created profound shifts in values among an aware and engaged citizenry. Inspired citizens have spoken up, taken a stand, and made a difference. Now is again time for large scale citizen action. Fear, isolation, and passivity will weaken us and our nation. Citizens have real power when we speak collectively and when we vote. As Margaret Mead aptly said, “When the citizens lead, the leaders will eventually follow.”

This global call to action is a call to take moral leadership when our own political leaders take actions that are not aligned with our nation’s core values or best interests. At such times we have the moral responsibility to speak up, questioning bad policies and immoral actions. Allowing foreign interference in our election threatens the very fabric of our Constitution. Banning immigrants from entering the U.S. and separating immigrant children from their mothers and throwing them in less than human prison-like facilities is an anathema to the very essence and identity of this country. Shrinking our national health care system that benefits millions of Americans, without a suitable alternative, hurts everyone. Denigrating women and negating survivors of sexual harassment is not acceptable. Undermining the very institutions that protect us in the areas of justice, environmental protection, education, diplomacy, security, gender equality and human rights harms the fundamental rights we live by. We, as citizens, must keep our leaders accountable, and exercise our right to question and overturn unjust policies or actions. The viability of our democracy depends on our ability to do just that at the present time.
Today we see the rise of women as activists, agents of change, leaders and community organizers. The #metoo movement, that has gone viral around the globe, has freed women to call out sexual harassment and violence when it happens. The women’s march following President Trump’s inauguration was an extraordinary demonstration of global outrage led by women all over the world demanding their rights. More women than ever in history ran for and won political office in 2018 in the U.S. Women of all parties and persuasions are coming together to courageously question the old paradigm and create a new more collaborative one that is inclusive, engaging, respectful, just and open minded. Make no doubt about it, we are a force to be reckoned with and are claiming our voices!

High school students in the U.S. have created a national movement in the wake of high school shootings to end this senseless violence. Their #enough movement has led them to the halls of our government. They are learning their rights as citizens to utilize the democratic freedoms they have, to demand legislators address gun violence and enact responsible gun regulation. Understanding more about their power as citizens, they organized youth across the country to vote in the November 2018 elections for candidates who support reasonable gun legislation. They are claiming their voices!.

The partisan cable media and much of the social media demonstrate an extreme lack of civility in our country, to our peril. Civility is when we are able to have a respectful conversation with others with whom we disagree. While it doesn’t necessarily solve disagreements, it can lead to finding common ground when we talk with, rather than at, each other. It’s wrong to target or blame groups of people, to stereotype, ridicule or demean others and to denigrate the very institutions that serve us. This is not the American way, it is not what we love about this country. What makes America great is its rich diversity that embraces multiculturalism, an open and free press, freedom of opportunity and equality for all. Walls, bans, and divisive politics don’t represent us. It’s time to return to the values inherent in the founding of this country that fostered civility, respect, equality and shared decision making. All our voices must be heard.

Citizen activism, diplomacy and civility are desperately called for at this time. We, as citizens, need to maintain our moral compass, listen to others, have the courage and ability to collectively hold true to our values, and not let our political leaders get away with un-American behavior or unjust policies or actions. We cannot leave it to the Congress, the White House, or the Supreme Court. It is our moral responsibility to be beacons of light and a collective megaphone to ensure that our core American values are sacrosanct. We have seen this in the rise of “Indivisible groups” throughout the nation, groups of citizens who are educating themselves about issues, writing their representatives, holding town hall meetings, and demanding that their representatives truly represent the will of the people they serve. These indivisible citizen groups are active and aware and growing in numbers across the nation.

As Ann Richards, the late Governor of Texas said, “I want to urge you to make waves. I want to urge you to rock the boat. I want to urge you to get off your duff. I want you to speak out at whatever cost if it comes from your heart. You’re going to build up this country and when you see what you have done, I hope that you are proud of it.” It is imperative that we elect responsible legislators who create solutions that work for all Americans and not just a small elite, and who defend sound policies that reflect our national tenets as a nation.

Let us be inspired by the words of President Abraham Lincoln: “that we here highly resolve that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom-and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.” As President Obama said, “We are the ones we are waiting for.”

Joanne Grady Huskey and Kimberly Weichel are speakers and trainers in citizen diplomacy and women’s leadership. They have worked on the forefront of building bridges between people for over 25 years.

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30 Years after Tiananmen.. for the Record---History Must be Told

6/17/2019

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30 Years After Tiananmen: For the Record---History Must be Told

In 2015 after many years hiatus from China, I went to do some work in Beijing and visited Tiananmen Square, while I was in the country. I had lived in Beijing from 1988 to 1991, but, the ultra modern city was a totally different place then the one I knew. What surprised me most, however, was the normalcy of Tiananmen Square, for when I had left there the square was surrounded by PLA soldiers with Ak47s. In the midst of the present day tourist traffic, amongst people walking all over the square, I had the horrible sensation that if history is not recorded, and the truth never told, the present can completely erase the past. That is why, on this the 30th anniversary of the events in Tiananmen Square,I feel compelled to share my view of what happened in Tiananmen Square 30 years ago this June. For although China is a very different place today, and although the government has tried to sweep it all under the rug. The people in Tiananmen Square now know very little of what happened there in 1989, but for history’s sake, we must not forget what happened that Spring. We must remember and honor all who died in the name of democracy.

In the spring of 1989, my husband, Jim, who was a U.S. foreign service officer, and I were posted to Beijing. It was our first posting in the U.S. foreign service, and only 6 months after we arrived, we got caught up by the events of “Beijing Spring,” the student democracy movement in China. On April 15th,1989, Hu Yaobang, the popular, but disgraced, former Communist Party General Secretary, who had been banished because of his liberal views, suddenly died. In the days that followed, hundreds, then thousands, of students at Peking University (Beida 北大) and other universities and colleges began calling for recognition of Hu Yaobang, which gradually turned into a call for greater democracy in China.

Three days after Hu's death, Jim and I went to see a film on the Peking University (Beida 北大) campus about the Korean War. When we came out of the campus movie theater there was a buzz, we found students milling about “The Triangle” reading slogans tacked to the walls, and holding impromptu open discussions. Curious at what was going on, we mingled among the students and listened to some of their ideas. Seeing us, they thanked us for coming, saying “Meiguo hen hao,” (America is very good -- 美国很好) and some asked us about our student days during the Vietnam War era. A large crowd of students listened as we tried to explain our experiences demonstrating against the Vietnam War in the U.S.

Over the next week we watched the movement swell day by day to other campuses, each day expecting the government to crack down on this activity. On May 4th, the sacred anniversary of the 1919 May 4th Student movement, the students poured off the University campuses into the streets. The numbers grew each day, first hundreds, then thousands of students marching around the second ring road, where we lived, encircling Beijing, calling for freedom and the right to be heard and to dialogue with the Party leaders. Amazingly, the government leaders did not respond, but stayed secluded in their privileged refuge of Zhongnanhai, adjacent to the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square. A Beijing Normal University student named Chai Ling made an emotional plea for the government to begin a dialogue with the students, or otherwise they were going to stage a hunger strike to demand direct negotiations with Party leaders. When no response was forthcoming from Zhongnanhai, the students descended by the thousands on Tiananmen Square, set up camp at the foot of Mao Zedong’s mausoleum, and launched the hunger strike on May 13th. Jim and I thought Mao must have been rolling over in his grave; for although he knew all too well the power of mobilized students driven by nationalistic fervor, such as the Red Guards during the Cultural Revolution, he would have been horrified to think that students would have actually called for democracy and freedom from the Communist party!

Over the next week, the square filled with colorful banners, loudspeakers blaring, and hundreds of tents with thousands of people. We wandered among the students, amazed at what we were living through! In mid May, Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev arrived in Beijing on an official visit. The first Russian Head of State to visit China in 30 years, Gorbachev was to arrive at the Great Hall of the People for this historic meeting with Premier Deng Xiaoping. The entire international press corps came to Beijing to cover this momentous meeting between the Chinese and the Soviets. Much to the embarrassment of the Chinese government, however, what they ended up covering was the student movement and occupation of Tiananmen Square, which turned out to be a far more colorful and interesting story.

ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, BBC, and international press from all over the world set up cameras in Tiananmen Square awaiting Gorbachev's arrival, and, in the meantime, focused on the fasting students. The night before the Gorbachev visit, students confronted police on the steps of the Great Hall of the People, which runs along the Western side of Tiananmen Square. Because the media was at the ready and captured the drama, the entire world was drawn into the student movement. The video images of Chinese students broadcast worldwide aroused tremendous international sympathy for their struggle and the excitement was palpable.

Emboldened by the worldwide attention and support, students continued streaming into the Square. People arrived from the countryside by the train carload and poured into Beijing turning the Square into a people’s camp. The air was electric with the excitement of debate, criticism and new ideas. Students were speaking publicly and testing their skills with new political slogans. Each day, Jim and I wandered through throngs of students on street corners and in parks deep in heretofore prohibited political debate. We watched them grow bolder by the day and become increasingly vocal and sure of their ideas. We saw average Beijingers wake up from years of intellectual slumber and oppression and begin to smile and express a sense of hope.

The movement spread from street corner to street corner, to offices, shops and worker cooperatives. We would stand discreetly on the margins and listen to the conversations. We could almost feel the opening up of people’s hearts and minds, like watching a dead flower come back to life. It was an astounding experience. Students, workers, old and young people, shop keepers, even Communist Party members, began smiling, greeting each other, speaking out in public, and defending their rights in the street. By the beginning of June, there were tens of thousands of permanent demonstrators occupying Tiananmen Square.
After a while the student hunger strike started to lose force.Medical supplies flowed into the square from Hong Kong.Students on cots in hospital tents lay with I.V.’s in their arms. Medics rushed in and out of the Square offering first aid. Order began to deteriorate, as garbage stank in mountains all over the square. The students established volunteer brigades to direct traffic, transport food and medical supplies, and patrol the streets and hutongs. It was amazing and unprecedented in Maoist China -- the students and their supporters were effectively in control of large swaths of Beijing, as police and soldiers stayed out of sight and Beijing's leaders hovered deep inside Zhongnanhai. The students proclaimed they were setting up “a real people’s government.”

Meanwhile, the Communist Party leaders seemed hesitant and confused. They did not respond to calls for dialogue. There seemed to be no leadership. Finally Premier Zhao Ziyang, the more liberal minded person in the ruling Politburo, went out to meet with the students in the Square and, with tears in his eyes, he pleaded with them to leave. He, we later learned, knew what was about to happen. Late on May 30, Vice Premier Li Peng, went on television surrounded by members of the Politburo, stiffly dressed in Mao suits. He soberly announced that the government was sending troops in to restore order. By this time, Premier Zhao Ziyang had disappeared from sight, ousted for disagreeing with the hard liners' decision to move in on the students. Zhao was placed under house arrest and was never seen in public again.

On the night of June 1, Jim went to Tiananmen Square at around 7 p.m. as he had done each evening. He watched as young unarmed PLA troops tried to reach the square, but were turned back by the students and workers. Before midnight, celebrations rippled through the Square as the students realized they had actually stopped the army from entering the city!

The next morning, the government announced martial law and clamped down on all media. With the entire world watching, broadcasters were shut down, some right in mid-sentence. Foreign broadcasters were pushed off their sets and the screens went black as millions of people all over the world watched. International reporters were physically and visibly forced to leave the square.

The next day thousands of people ignored martial law and bravely rode their bicycles to Tiananmen Square in support of the students. Jim and I, also, solemnly biked with them through the streets and around the Square. We could sense a strange mixture of exhilaration and foreboding as no one was certain what would happen next. No police were even visible. The students seemed to be running the city—directing traffic and maintaining order. After foreign media broadcasts were cut off, it became difficult for us to find out what was happening. The communist government began broadcasting over loud speakers in the square and on street corners, with heavy surrealistic propaganda proclaiming, “The PLA army loves the people and the people love the PLA army.” The airwaves were filled with PLA martial choruses singing patriotic marching songs and pledging to restore peace. On television, PLA soldiers, caked in make-up, danced in flowing white chiffon capes to military music. The only way to know what was really happening was to make the long trek down to Tiananmen Square and watch. Jim and I went each evening that week.

Although the students occupied Tiananmen and were camped out at the entrance to Zhongnanhai, where the party leaders lived, the leadership maintained an eerie quiet. The students then rolled a huge white “Goddess of Democracy” statue, modeled after the Statue of Liberty into the square. She embodied the electricity in the air.

On the evening of June 2, a brigade of PLA troops nearly succeeded in reaching the Square. Several thousand young men, appearing no older than 15 years, marched west along Jianguomen Boulevard toward the square. The people surrounded them, however, and convinced them not to attack. The young boy soldiers were dazed and scared, holding hands like children on the playground. Sent in fresh from the countryside, they had no idea what they were getting into. Their trucks were surrounded by mobs of people and they were trapped in the swarms of demonstrators, who smothered them in kindness and tried to educate them about the events in Beijing and urge them to join in the protest. We walked among the dialoguing groups, as a sense of victory once again reverberated across the Square.

The evening of June 3rd seemed to be a repeat of the preceding nights. Jim and I spent the early evening walking around the square talking to the students. Then, I said goodnight to Jim around 9:30 pm and took a cab back to our apartment, leaving Jim behind in the Square to cover things for the Embassy. On my way home, I stopped at the Great Wall Hotel, where there was a lot of anxiety among the press gathered there. Many thought some kind of confrontation had to happen; otherwise the government would just cease to exist. Just before I went to bed, at about one in the morning, Jim called and told me to come back to the square since the students were celebrating again. He said “It is unbelievable that the students could turn back the army night after night. What a phenomenal thing!” Although very late, I decided to go back to the square to join the celebrating in Tiananmen Square.
I jumped into a cab and tried to get back into the square, but this time, people surrounded my car and told me to turn back and leave. People sensed there was imminent danger. They anxiously shouted, “Lao Wai (dear foreigner,) Go home, quickly, you can’t go through.” I rushed home and waited on pins and needles.

Once I returned to my apartment, I heard a rising roar in the streets below and the apartments began to shake a bit. My heart sank. I looked out and saw a seemingly endless column of tanks rolling swiftly towards the city center. Knowing that Jim was in Tiananmen Square, I frantically called the U.S. Embassy.
“Do you know where Jim Huskey is? Have you heard from him?” I asked the Marine guard on duty.
“Sorry Madame, we have no contact," he responded, "things are a bit confusing right now."
For the next few hours, no one at the embassy knew Jim's whereabouts.

Jim was one of the only U.S. embassy officers to witness first-hand the nightlong massacre at Tiananmen. When the shooting started as the tanks advanced on Tiananmen Square from the west along Changan Boulevard, a man next to him was shot in the middle of his forehead. Jim ran behind trees in front of the Gate of Heavenly Peace of the Forbidden City, then retreated eastward along Jianguo Boulevard, the Avenue of “Eternal Peace,” watching, as people were machine gunned by their own government. He saw people run out in front of the tanks and stand there in protest. He and Mitch, a CNN cameraman, saw one Armored Personnel Carrier set on fire and a PLA soldier dragged from it and beaten to death by the angry crowds. He spent the night watching wave after wave of PLA machine guns mowing down protesters. From midnight to dawn, he ran in and out of the square, following each round of shooting to count the wounded and the dead.

After a night of counting bodies and helping Americans and others get out of the area, Jim ended up exhausted at the Beijing Hotel in the early morning in the embassy's 17th floor room overlooking Jianguomen Boulevard and Tiananmen Square. He returned to the embassy mid-morning and in a fury of emotion, he wrote a long descriptive cable to the State Department outlining minute by minute what he had seen on the night of June 3-4, the night the Chinese government killed its own people. His key eyewitness report is, to this day, one of the most detailed descriptions of the events of the night. When the Chinese government later tried to deny that anyone was killed in the square that night, Jim’s account was one of the pieces of evidence that reported the truth of what actually happened in and around Tiananmen Square.

He made his way home late the next day utterly shaken by what he had witnessed. My heart finally rested to see him safe. In the chaotic days that followed, I with other embassy members manned the phones at the Embassy, calling all Americans in the Beijing Consular District who had registered with the embassy, and answering questions from Americans calling in from across China. Many were panicked and didn’t know if they should stay where they were or leave China. Thousands of people thronged the Beijing airport trying to leave.

A few days later, as the security situation continued to deteriorate, Ambassador James Lilley called a meeting of all embassy families and told us that he was ordering a “voluntary evacuation.” While he was speaking, however, a barrage of gunfire broke out in front of the Embassy and the Ambassador changed his order on the spot: it was a mandatory evacuation of all non-essential personnel. He gave us an hour to prepare to leave China. Anxious and upset by the sudden turn of events, I wanted to say good-bye to Jim, who was out convoying American students and tourists from their university campuses and hotels in northwestern Beijing to the east side of the city and proximity to the airport. I waited at the Embassy for him to return. As I waited, Chinese troops opened fire again, this time on the nearby diplomatic high-rise apartments on Jianguomenwai Street. Someone shoved a phone in my hand and said, “Help them!” I started talking with embassy families over the telephone as the soldiers were shooting up their apartments. I urged them to run for the US Marine van waiting outside their compound, “Leave your things behind. Just go quickly!” I told them. One family was literally under their beds talking to me on the phone while bullets bounced off the walls in their apartment. They eventually made it to safety and luckily no American was hurt during the attack. There seemed to be complete anarchy in the streets of Beijing.

I was evacuated, along with all the other families and “non-essential” personnel. I was alone, since Jim was still out ferrying Americans to safety. I wasn’t sure I would even get to see him before I left China the next morning. I also didn’t know if I would ever get back to China. With foreboding in my heart that night, on June 8, 1989, I closed the door to our apartment, and left the chaos of the streets of Beijing and my husband behind. The next morning, I was evacuated from China relieved to be on a United Airlines jet bound for the U.S.A.!! My husband and I were separated for four months, during the worst time in U.S.-China relations.

The above article is an excerpt from Joanne Grady Huskey’s book, The Unofficial Diplomat, published 2009 by New Academia Press, the twelfth book in the Association for Diplomatic Studies Series on Memoirs and Occasional papers.

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The Third Act for Women: Finding Joy and Meaning After 50

6/13/2019

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The Third Act: Finding Meaning, Joy and Fulfillment Over 50
by Joanne Grady Huskey and Kimberly Weichel
Ours is the first generation of women who have had careers for much of our lives. We are living fuller lives than most of our parents and grandparents could imagine. Because we are living longer, we are entering a period of life that is virtually uncharted, a time in which many of us are free from social expectations and reduced family obligations, with the freedom, resources and desire to engage in new activities with meaning and purpose. Some refer to this phase as the “Encore” stage, and we call it the Third Act.

Our growing up years constitute the first act, our middle years focused on career and family is considered our second act, and for many of us our third act is really ours to create. Science and medical advances have extended our years with generally better health than previous generations. We realize, however, that this time is limited; it may be our last chance to realize our dreams or live the life we have always wanted. Hopefully, most of us have saved money for our retirement years and are in good health. If we are intentional about what we do with our time, we have the opportunity to turn our dreams into realities, to consider options previously considered impractical or unattainable. It's up to us to decide and plan for our continued vitality.

In fact, for many today, retirement is a “roleless” role. The traditional notion of retirement fits with a worn out notion of aging that conceives of it primarily in terms of disengagement and decline; but today “old” is being redefined as a time of vitality and increased happiness. More Americans 65 and older work today than ever before, partly due to financial reasons and partly because they are physically able to work due to continuing good health.
With 30 or more years left to live, we have an opportunity to create a better quality of life, leave a legacy, contribute to society in a meaningful way, enjoy the simple pleasures of life, or pursue our life-long dreams. The years beyond 50 offer exciting opportunities and infinite possibilities. Yet, this less structured time of choice can also be frustrating and overwhelming if we have not adequately planned for it.

To begin to prepare for our Third Act, it is helpful to review the assumptions, patterns, and beliefs that we held in work and career, hobbies, family, volunteer activities and social life by asking the following questions: Which ones serve you and which get in your way from doing your best? What relationships, job and other commitments are a drain and not life enhancing? What made you most happy and satisfied in the first part of our life? What skills do you enjoy using and which new ones do you want to learn? Do you want to make a contribution to your community or society? Taking stock of your second act, and making changes where necessary, is an important step in moving fully into your Third Act.

Science tells us that our aging is influenced by our attitudes and lifestyle. The good news is that we can make changes that will enhance our lives. We have found it helpful to raise questions and examine our current lives-- the physical, emotional, professional, personal and spiritual dimensions—to clarify for ourselves what makes us feel most fulfilled. This self knowledge will aid us in launching a satisfying Third Act.

Physical
We know that many of us may have two, three or more decades of life remaining and that each generation is more active with better health and increased vitality than before. Average life spans are increasing – by 2050 women’s lifespan is projected to be 89 – 94 and men’s 83-85. The number of people over 100 continues to rise. Yet, in our second act, we also may have neglected our fitness, gained some weight and find our cholesterol or blood pressure too high for good health. Now is a good time to take stock of our current health and fitness and develop a plan for wellness. This may include losing weight, quitting smoking, improving our diet or getting more exercise. An AARP survey conducted in 2013 states that one’s health is the biggest driver of satisfaction in later life.

Emotional
Popular stereotypes would lead us to believe that most of us go through a midlife crisis between 40 and 70 leading to unhappiness and depression. Yet researchers who have been studying the development process report that, far from being a time of dissatisfaction and dread of getting old, only a small percent of participants report having a midlife crises. A recent book entitled The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50 by Jonathan Rauch states that most people are entering their sixth or seventh decades with an increased feeling of well-being, equanimity, a sense of control over many parts of their lives and feeling younger than their years. Many report less stress and the freedom to make choices in how they spend their time. A 2013 AARP Attitudes of Aging study reported that the majority of those who have already retired are satisfied with their lives. These studies suggest that aging is not the dreaded time of our imaginations, but rather with intention and focus we can create a joyful and satisfying Third Act.

Professional
Many of us have pursued careers for most of our lives which have brought achievements and the personal and financial rewards of success in our chosen fields; for others, the demands of family life were all consuming. Yet career success often involved the stressful demands of long hours and hard work to meet expectations or challenge traditional stereotypes. Many women did both – raising a family and pursuing a career. Many of us are ready to “slow down”, have more time for relaxation and enjoy other interests. Yet some seniors do not want to quit or financially can’t afford to, and rotate between work and leisure. Others of us, a startling 56%, want to leave one career behind and launch a new and perhaps more entrepreneurial venture that we have always dreamed about. Some want to use our professional skills to volunteer in our community or beyond. The 2013 AARP Attitudes of Aging survey found that the more one believes their life has made a difference, the more satisfied one is with their life. This is a time to examine whether we want to continue to work, do something new, and/or volunteer using our skills and experience.

Personal
Full time work, raising a family, or taking care of loved ones, leaves little time for women to pursue hobbies, leisure time activities or make contributions as a volunteer. As our family obligations are reduced and we think of working part time or retiring, new opportunities open up. We can pursue long delayed dreams, complete neglected projects, learn to play the piano or speak Spanish, study history, enjoy the simple pleasures of life, or make a meaningful contribution to causes about which we are passionate. We can evaluate our skills and experience to find ways that we can make a difference or contribute to our community. Are there new skills we need to learn to pursue our dreams?

Spiritual
The multi-tasking, over-scheduled life cruising on auto-pilot leaves little time to explore the questions of deeper meaning in our lives. We may be disenchanted with the “rewards” of climbing the corporate ladder or have felt overwhelmed with family obligations. When we finally do have time, we are often at a loss, drifting and feeling somehow empty of purpose and direction. Many people feel that given the stressful demands during their second act, they have to set aside something important that they want to retrieve. For example, some put off taking piano lessons, writing that book, or taking that trip. Experts suggest that the changes that matter during the third act of life are often spiritual and psychological.  What are we called to do that will provide meaning and purpose in this next phase of our life?  Do we have contemplative or spiritual practices that guide us?

Planning our transition to our Third Act involves being proactive, taking personal responsibility and being open to learning about ourselves. It’s important to identify and support our own needs and keep them in balance with the wishes and expectations of others. This may involve setting some boundaries, or reducing our tendency to be reactive.

Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of popular psychology, has done research on ways to increase happiness as we age by using 4 strategies:

Positive Appreciation:  Positive appreciation means being grateful for the present moment, looking back with contentment and looking ahead with optimism. Mindfulness is one way  to increase positive feelings and enjoy the present by actively noticing things without evaluating or categorizing them. Gratitude exercises, thinking about or writing down what you are grateful for, have been shown to not only lift your mood, but also improve physical health and raise energy levels.

Seeking Meaning:  Finding meaning in our lives is an important component of satisfaction. Transcending the self and using our signature strength to belong or serve something larger than ourselves, through involvement in a cause for which we have passion, is an important component of happiness.  It may involve nature, art, community, spirituality, or something else.  Giving makes us feel good, frequent acts of kindness boost well-being, volunteering gives us a sense of purpose.

Active Engagement:  Rowe and Kahn’s Model of Successful Aging includes being engaged in life as a key component in successful aging. We are more likely to be in “flow” when we are actively using our skills and focus. When the structure and goals of our second act are no longer provided for us through work, we may need to do some research as to where and how best to use our skills and experience at this time of life.

Quality of Everyday Experience.  While traditional approaches to life planning often emphasize the importance of vision and goals, it is clear that the quality of our everyday experience is an important determinant of satisfaction. The simple pleasures of leisurely reading the paper, calling a friend, having a cup of tea or taking a walk in nature can bring daily contentment. Savoring sensory experiences increases the pleasure of our daily lives.

Most significantly, a Harvard University longevity study showed that having strong ties to friends and family is the key determinant to a happy life. “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.”
(https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/)

We have found that living a positive Third Act with intention can be a satisfying and meaningful time of our lives. Now is the time to pursue dreams and interests that we have time for and use our accumulated experience and wisdom to shape a vital, engaging phase of our lives.

Authors
Joanne Grady Huskey and Kimberly Weichel are cross cultural trainers, authors, and specialists in women’s leadership. They offer workshops in Third Act development and use their expertise and life experience to support others in creating their own Third Acts.

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OUR VOICES MATTER

by Joanne Huskey and Kimberly Weichel

30 Years after Tiananmen.. for the Record---History Must be Told

The Third Act for Women: Finding Joy and Meaning After 50

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